YOU KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF COLLEGE WHEN:

1 Your salary is less than your tuition.
2 Your potted plants stay alive.
3 Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4 You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
5 You have to pay your own credit card bill.
7 You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
8 8:00a.m. is not early.
9 You have to file for your own taxes.
10 You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
11 You're not carded anymore.
12 You carry an umbrella.
13 Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
14 You start watching the weather channel.
15 Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
16 You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
17 You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
18 You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
19 You go to parties that the police don't raid.
20 Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
21 You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
22 Your car insurance goes down.
23 You refer to college students as kids.
24 You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon,
   and rum.
25 Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
26 You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
27 You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
28 College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
29 Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
30 THEN: discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans,
   and tonsil hockey NOW: discussing with your friends: mutual funds,    
interest rates, and wedding plans
31 Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
32 Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of
   one.
33 You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN
   Sportscenter and MTV News.
34 You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
35 METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
36 Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
37 You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
38 Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
39 When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just
   can't put it down the same as I used to'.
40 Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
   real work, not video games.
41 You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar
   that's not full of '21-year-old kids.'
42 Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.